Tears Still Flow
by precious-passenger
Summary: Castiel is hit with a strange curse, leaving him utterly helpless and he has to rely on Winchester brothers to help him get back on his feet.


Crowded... cold… empty… the smell of unwashed socks and rotten fruit…

That was all that Castiel could bear to perceive in the unknown amount of time since he'd been tossed carelessly inside a garbage can. If his assumptions were correct, he was currently residing in the trashcan he'd seen a homeless man raid for valuable objects right before the… _complication_ happened. He tried to move for a while before realizing that it was all in vain.

Castiel eventually lost track of time, though that was nothing short of ordinary for him. He'd spent countless millennia observing the Earth and its inhabitants. Granted, his scenery had never been this vile, but he could adapt. He couldn't close his eyes, so he stared ahead blankly, attempting to meditate and hoping this time alone would give him some peace.

After a while, Castiel was startled by a strange noise. He could see the lid beginning to move. A glimmer of hope began to rise in his chest, which quickly turned into wariness. Was something coming over to attack him? As if the spell cast upon him wasn't enough. He braced himself as the lid fell into the ground and with a push, the trashcan tipped over.

The world started to spin in front of Castiel's eyes as his new home began to roll in the silent street. He would've fallen off if it hadn't been for the piece of gum and some other sticky material gluing him to the metal.

Suddenly, he was tossed up in the air and caught by sharp teeth. He could feel the warm breath on his body. Then he heard the terrible sound that he'd been dreading.

_Woof._

He was dropped on the pavement and quickly picked up again. Castiel really didn't like dogs. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He was just... wary around them. Maybe it was a deep fear that Jimmy, his vessel, had transferred to him. Whatever it was, it made him far from comfortable, dangling from those sharp teeth.

His leg gave away first with a loud tearing sound. He could see his insides being pulled out by a set of teeth and devoured, only to be spat back out on the ground.

In that moment, Castiel was almost glad he couldn't feel pain. The mere image was making him woozy. Then suddenly, a sharp whistle sounded, making the dog whimper and drop the angel on the ground. The dog stood in daze as the piercing sound rose in volume and, with a final growl, fled the scene.

Castiel felt himself and his remains getting picked up and put inside a box. It wasn't until the last second that he caught sight of the one saving him.

"Glad to see you again, brother."

* * *

><p>It was a rainy November, the kind that made most people just want to sleep the day away. In that way, the Winchesters were pretty normal. But unfortunately for them, they weren't going to get any more sleep. Nothing made a Winchester's day brighter like a good visit from an old "friend". In this case, however, the friend was nobody other than…<p>

"Hey douchebags," the intruder called, snapping his fingers and creating a cold wind to blow the blankets off of Sam and Dean. Sam was the first one coherent enough to recognize the intruder.

"Trickster..." Sam groaned.

"The name's Gabriel, thank you very much. Angel of the Lord here," he replied, smirking at the humans' disheveled appearance.

"What do you want?" Dean interjected, tiredly rubbing his eyes and effectively cutting off the staring match between his brother and the archangel.

"Nothing… just trying to enjoy God's green earth and human company before Luci takes it all away. What are you two doing, lazing about around here?"

Before either of them could reply, the angel continued, "Not saving the world, obviously. Well then, I have an assignment for you two."

"We're already on a hunt. So thanks, but no thanks."

"You mean the poltergeist case? Yeah, I had a blast watching you two get your ass kicked by that harmless little creature."

"Son of a bitch almost got my leg," Dean groaned.

"Okay, enough rest for you. There's a circus coming to town, boys. Why don't you go and check it out? Grab some popcorn and see some clowns?"

Everyone chose to ignore Sam's shudder.

"And why should we listen to you?" Dean asked carefully.

"Because I'm awesome and you love me. Also, you two are the nosiest humans that I've seen."

With that, the angel disappeared, the brief sound of wings fluttering filling the room. A full minute had passed before the Winchesters noticed a small wooden box in the exact spot that Gabriel had been occupying. Sam approached to inspect it but, upon glancing his brother's alarmed gaze, let him take the lead. The box that the archangel had left was seemingly protected by various spells and weird symbols carved into the wood.

"Be careful," Dean whispered as he aimed his gun, loaded with silver bullets, to the strange box. He clicked his gun as Sam carefully unscrewed the lid and was ready to shoot when his brother revealed what it was inside the box.

There was a moment of silence as they took in the strange object. It seems to be some sort of doll. The stunningly blue eyes and the stubble, coupled with a white shirt and blue tie, were strangely familiar.

"Sam, is that… Is that Cas?" Dean whispered doubtfully as he took in the doll in his hands. He gave it an experimental squeeze, only to have nothing happened.

"This must be another prank… or something, right?" Sam assumed, nodding thoughtfully. He was already going through his mental list of books that he'd read about dolls looking like real people. Nothing came up in his mind.

"Why is he naked?" Dean wondered aloud.

"He's wearing a shirt, pants and shoes. What more do you want, man?"

"His trenchcoat is missing."

"Really, Dean? That's all you can come up with?" Sam scolded, rolling his eyes.

"What? I'm just asking..." his brother tried to explain but Sam cut him off.

"I don't know. It looks like it's just a doll," he rolled his eyes again, taking the offending object from his brother.

"Where are you taking him?" Dean asked, worried.

"I'm drenching it in holy water, make sure it isn't possessed."

"Alright, but don't try the blade on him," he warned.

"Why not?"

"Because he might be… you know, Cas."

"You're being ridiculous, Dean," Sam called over his shoulder, but he didn't go anywhere near the blade or anything else that might hurt an angel.

* * *

><p>Castiel was happy that Gabriel had found him a new home. His brother's place was cozy, but there had been too much sexual intercourse going on there for his liking, and he couldn't stand sitting idly by the nightstand anymore. It was as if the archangel had wanted him to suffer more. As if his new shape wasn't troubling enough.<p>

Now, he was placed on a coffee table beside the television and held his attention to Dean attempting to make something edible out of the ingredients they had. Sam had gone to the library to do some research. The brothers had spent all of that morning calling fellow hunters, asking about encountering any case similar to this. Seeing their forlorn faces, Castiel had to assume that it hadn't gone well.

But, if he was being honest, Castiel wasn't all that worried. The only thing that weighed on his shoulders was his inability to watch over the Winchester's like he wanted to. He'd spent hours trying to move, speak… anything. But so far, it had been fruitless.

Currently, he settled on watching Dean expertly chopping the ingredients and setting on the cutting board. It was a familiar series of motion to him, relaxing the angel. Watching over Dean Winchester had become like a second nature to him. He could feel his human's uneasiness reach its peak as the man slammed down the knife on the counter, metal clattering loudly.

"That's it, Cas. We're going shopping," Dean said, picking him up and stuffing him in a small plastic bag. Castiel could hear the roar of Impala as they drove. He wished that Dean had placed him somewhere more comfortable than a weird smelling bag.

They finally stopped, and Dean parked the car, picking up the bag and entering the shop.

Through a small tear in the bag, Cas could see colors, so many colors. And music… happy music and laughter. Castiel had a feeling that he was going to like this new place.

* * *

><p>"Dean, what are you doing?" the younger Winchester asked as he stepped into the dingy motel room, immediately concerned.<p>

"I'm making a trench coat," the other one replied calmly.

"You're making a… what the… Dean? Are you possessed?"

"Nah. He was staring at me funny. It just doesn't feel like Cas without a trenchcoat," Dean replied.

"It's not a he, Dean. It's an inanimate object. And we're not even sure it's Cas."

Dean shrugged silently in reply.

"Where did you get that?" Sam asked, realizing that was the only answer he'd get.

"From a toy store."

Sam furrowed his brow. "You actually went out and bought a toy trench coat?"

"Well technically, it was on a teddy bear. I just gave the bear to the first kid I saw."

Sam sat down, watching Dean work expertly on the piece of clothing.

" I didn't know that you knew how to sew," he commented.

"Of course I do," the older Winchester scoffed, "Who do you think restitched all of your clothes so that you could wear them after each abnormal growth spurt? Or when you wrecked them in yet another hunt?"

Sam hung his head down in embarrassment. He hadn't been thinking about how Dean provided the basic needs of the family. He'd gotten a peek into how hard it was after he went for Stanford; cooking, cleaning, and studying took up all of his time and energy; he had no idea how his brother had managed to do it all, including hunting, at such a young age.

"You know, Sam, I think we have to go check out that circus. See what it's all about."

"I'm not so sure that it's necessary."

"Come on, Sammy. Maybe we could find Trickster and give him his box back or something. Or we might find out what happened to Cas. He wasn't answering when I prayed to him a while back."

"Maybe he's busy?" Sam suggested, but he could feel the wrongness of the situation.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Is this about the clowns? Face it, man, you're going to happen to see them again sometime."

"This isn't about clowns!"

"Sure it isn't," the older grinned, "But if that isn't the problem, then let's go tomorrow."

His response was met with loud grumbling from his brother, and he had to bite back a laugh.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, noticing that Sam had collected a pile of clothes in his arms.

"To change my clothes in the bathroom."

"Why are you suddenly so modest?" he huffed out in surprise.

"I don't want to change in front of the Cas doll."

"Grow up, Sammy," Dean scolded, as he took off his pants, leaving Sam to wonder if he'd imagined seeing the damn thing smile.

* * *

><p>The next morning, the Winchester brothers rose early, ready to leave the town. The two duffle bags were packed in no time.<p>

"What's in your bag, Dean?"

"You know, the usual stuff. Salt, knives, rope…"

"No. That… thing. I can see it..."

Sam zipped the bag fully open only to see the doll wrapped in a jacket, his head peeking out. He looked back at Dean, who had adopted the demeanor of a kid getting caught stealing candies.

"I wasn't going to put him back in that box."

"Are you planning on bringing him, I mean, it with us to the circus?"

"Kinda, yeah."

Sam shrugged reluctantly and got in the car. During the one hour drive to the circus that Gabriel had sent them to, Sam kept glancing back. When Dean stopped to get them breakfast, he didn't comment on the fact that Castiel's doll was placed there in the backseat. Wanting to relieve the silence, Sam flicked on the radio to a random station and tried to ignore the presence in the rear of the driver quickly changed it to AC/DC before speeding off down the long highway.

* * *

><p>"Dude… turn around. Now!" Sam warned, pulling at Dean's arm. They'd been wandering around in the circus for about two hours now, though an entire hour was spent trying to pull Dean away from various food stands. Even right now, after stuffing his stomach with corn dogs, he was looking longingly at the candy vendor. Still, it was a basic instinct to react to Sam's voice.<p>

"What?" he asked when Sam dropped his hand.

"Look at that," the younger Winchester nodded over his shoulder at the small, dark purple tent standing in a corner. It was decorated with posters of magic wands and crystal balls. But, the biggest image of all was a picture of a doll with a couple of needles stuck in it.

"I didn't want Cas to see it," Sam whispered, and Dean nodded in understanding. He silently slid Cas further into the duffel bag that he had been placed into again as the brothers slipped inside the tent. It was even more creepily decorated inside there, various different colorful bottles stacked precariously on shelves. In the center of the room, sitting in a comfy armchair, was a woman in her late thirties, wearing the most complicated dress they'd seen in a while. She looked vaguely mummy-like, with scraps of colorful stripes of clothes wrapped around her. The woman looked at them expectantly and the boys sat down.

"So, Ms., ah..." Sam squinted his eyes, trying to read the information on the small banner in the room.

"Pankiewicz…" the woman whispered seductively, shifting closer to Sam, who had taken a seat next to her. Dean snickered at how uncomfortable his brother was. Suddenly the woman's eyes slid to his direction… frowning slightly.

"There's another soul in this room… wait… it's not a soul. It's…"

The woman sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it, keeping her eyes shut the whole time.

"Something much more pure. Is there something you wanted to ask me, gentlemen?"

With a nod from Sam, Dean opened his bag and placed the doll in the table.

"No needles," he warned and she nodded briefly before her eyes went wide.

"This is it. This is the presence I felt," the woman exclaimed, overwhelmed by the feeling.

"Do you mean to tell us that this doll..."

"Is an angel."

An eerie silence settled in the room, only interrupted by the spooky sound of whooshing air and distant laughter from children.

"Suppose that you're right, how do we… " Sam was the first one to recover, while Dean looked at the doll in amazement.

"Bringing him back would be unpleasant, to say the least," the woman nodded, "but it can be done. Are you willing to do this?"

"Willing is our middle name," Dean replied with a wink.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure this is going to work?"<p>

"It's worth a shot."

"I feel stupid, Dean."

"Join the club."

"Okay, here we go."

"Cas, can you hear us?"

Castiel was placed in the center of an abandoned room the Winchesters had found for their ritual. He wanted nothing more than reply… to say something. But it was impossible to make even the smallest movements. As soon as they started drawing complicated shapes around him, Castiel felt a strange itch creeping up on him, and he had a sudden urge to scratch his back.

"This is pretty weird, even for us," Sam commented.

"So, we have to read one of these… things?"

"We did search for those that were easily memorized. I think that would work better. Should we start now?."

"Yeah… but we should probably take turns."

"Are you sure that psychic lady wasn't messing with us?" Sam asked, shifting from one foot to another.

"For the hundredth time, Sammy, I don't have a freaking clue, okay? But, this is the only lead we've got. So, why don't you just shut up and start the damn ritual?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably, moving his weight from one foot to the other.

"I can't do it," he whispered.

"Oh come on, Sammy. You used to do it all the time when you were a kid. Hell, I didn't even need to look up those stuff. All of it is stuck in my brain forever."

"By all means then, go ahead," Sam challenged. Dean took a deep breath and started reluctantly.

_Row, row, row your boat,_

_Gently down the stream._

_Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,_

_Life is but a dream._

Castiel couldn't hear the rest of the spell, distracted by an agonizing pain in his stomach. He groaned internally. He was hoping that pain would be the last sense to come back. Sam picked up, reading another verse from the paper, while Dean seemed to know what he was doing.

_It's raining; it's pouring._

_The old man is snoring._

He couldn't understand how the spell worked, but with some effort, he found that he could move his head slightly to the side. Sam saw the movement and eagerly urged Dean to go on with the next part.

_The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout._

_Down came the rain_

_and washed the spider out._

_Out came the sun_

_and dried up all the rain_

_and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again._

Castiel watched in alarm as Dean looked like he was suffering from indigestion. He kept shaking. The angel glanced back at Sam and was surprised to find him, not concerned, but angry.

_Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O,_

_And on that farm he had a cow, E-I-E-I-O,_

_With a moo moo here and a moo moo there_

_Here a moooo…_

Castiel couldn't understand why Sam was making animal noises or why Dean burst out in laughter, but as soon as he did a bright light filled the room and he could feel his wings being repaired. He flew, not wanting to hurt the Winchesters when his true form would burst in.

* * *

><p>"Can't you two idiots do anything right?" Gabriel groaned in annoyance as he picked up the two dolls and strutted out of the abandoned motel room, "You just had to laugh and make the spell backfire," he shook the smaller doll with shorter hair and green eyes angrily.<p>

"I admit, it was a blast watching you two big bad scary hunters singing songs about ponies and rainbows," he mused, humming thoughtfully as he "borrowed" the car parked right across the street. With a snap of fingers, the black Impala disappeared, and a medium-sized toy car was in angel's hands. He slid the two dolls inside of it and closed the tiny door before bringing the car into the front seat.

"Well, as much as I'd love to, I can't leave you boys here. My brothers would kill me, especially your sweet little boyfriend. He'd quickly come after this delicious piece of ass," Gabriel told the Dean-doll.

"We're going on an adventure, douchebags," he announced. "Gotta get you two idiots back to normal."


End file.
